Amanda’s Story

As a child, Amanda had had to care for a sibling and put other’s needs and feelings first and fit in around them. This left her with a weaker sense of self. Always feeling the odd one out, she has been bullied for being different. Amanda has worked in cafes, shops, and pubs. She was unable to complete courses, due to stress, domestic abuse, five children, pain, alcohol and drugs and a mental health crisis resulting in hospitalisation. She ended up in a women’s refuge, receiving some support with benefits. She did the Freedom Programme and had support going through court as a victim of a serious offence and Family court. She recalls feeling traumatised and on trial, with lawyers prying into her innermost personal, private experiences, to which there were no witnesses, unsurprisingly. She feels she couldn’t go through that again. She had put up with a lot, feeling unsupported, and has retaliated, resulting in her criminalisation and imprisonment. She has been in trouble for anti-social behaviour. In prison, Amanda received some course certificates. One of her children sadly died during the pandemic and the funeral was under lockdown restrictions, “you couldn’t even have a hug, but they let me light a candle for him in prison. Parents don’t expect to grieve and mourn children. At least I can talk about it without bursting into tears now.”

Support at Elizabeth Fry House

“I was so scared to suddenly come to Elizabeth Fry. I spoke to someone and found out in a couple of days I was coming to Reading, an unfamiliar place to me. I didn’t know what it would be like, which was frightening. When I got released, I was looking forward to a cigarette and went to the garage and was hit with the alcohol aisle, I looked at the drinks, but I didn’t get any. I know that’s a good thing, but I don’t feel proud, I don’t feel such emotions about myself. When I got here, the staff showed me around.
Elizabeth Fry is such an important place to get support, my Placement Supervisor said I am a different person to when I arrived.”
Amanda has attended all of the groups except one that clashed with a housing appointment.
“I have had help from my Keyworks, Substance misuse worker, Housing worker, Music therapist, yoga teacher and life coach/therapist.”

Amanda has had eight weeks of psychotherapy, engaging with topics including self-esteem.
Eleanor, our substance misuse worker, said “Amanda is more positive and optimistic about the future, the placement has been her first opportunity to have conversations to unpack and process issues. In the time she has been substance and alcohol free, she has been on an organic journey, coming to groups and getting to know herself more and explore triggers and risks such as isolation etc. I think with support, she will stay well.”

Amanda comments on the music therapy: “I can go into music sessions feeling a bit down or deflated and enjoy singing and the instruments and come out feeling more positive. I enjoy them and feel better.”
Amanda likes to swim but is unable to submerge her electronic tag under water, so is currently unable to go to a swimming pool. Our Yoga teacher says that Amanda comes to yoga most weeks and does seem to find it helpful in a variety of ways. “The Yoga teacher is great at giving me gentle exercise.”

The Future

Our Housing worker said “Amanda’s council found her intentionally homeless. There’s 56 days to appeal, and Elizabeth Fry placements are time limited, risking Amanda leaving without a home. Amanda said she did not feel ready to live independently. I referred her to a provider who rejected her due to the medication she was on. A probation officer emailed about a supported accommodation project, where no local connection was needed. I told Amanda about it, and she was interested and agreed I would complete the form explaining her needs, mental health, police, and legal situation. She has a place for two years.” Amanda says “I have my own room, with shared areas. I’ll be on a bus route, I can maybe rejoin a liberty choir if there is one, find things to do, go to NA and AA meetings now I’m in recovery. It would be fairer if everyone had equal opportunities and chances to meet their needs in life. I’ll stay in touch with staff. Elizabeth Fry has been so good for me.”